The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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