It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
