Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
