He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
