I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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