If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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