yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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