Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
