Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
