yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
