I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
