Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
