so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
