Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
