He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
