can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
