Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
