I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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