Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
