there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
3pm strippers are depressing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
