there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
