Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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