the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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