apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
