Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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