Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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