Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
