I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
