bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
