You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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