I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
