You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
