Kiss
Puke
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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