Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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