I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
