hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
