Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
