you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
