fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think my moral compass just broke
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
