Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
