i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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