And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
