did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
