Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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