Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
