And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
