I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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