if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
