the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
