just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
