apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
