Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
