Pappa wants mamma naked
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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