All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
