Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
